Bedtime Failure

I had a major failure last night.  Rory has been a great sleeper from the very beginning.  She was sleeping through the night at 1 month.  It's been fantastic.  Somewhere around 2 months we started having trouble getting her to fall asleep so we began bouncing her to sleep in her vibrating bouncy chair.  It worked like a charm!  Fast forward a few months and Rory lost the ability to go to sleep without her bouncy chair or carseat.  This made it really difficult when we were away from home around nap time or bedtime.



So,  last week I set on a mission to break her of her bouncy chair.  She hasn't used her bouncy chair for bedtime since last Tuesday.  I felt so wonderful.  It was the first time in her little life that I actually helped her change her behavior for the better.

Now, while she has been getting better at falling asleep, for some reason she's started waking up in the night again.  I don't know what changed but now she wakes up a night to eat. Well, last night her bedtime was fantastic. She went right down at 8:30 with no fighting or tears!  But, then she woke up at 1:30!  That's only 5 hours!  I was so mad!  What am I doing wrong?!?

I hate this about myself.  Why do I always get so upset about things these small things that I can't change?  It's not like she wakes up intending to upset me.  Anyway, the whole thing caused a fight between me and Jaymes.  And left me feeling like a giant butthole.

I have always had a temper and it's one of my biggest fears that I won't be able to control it with Rory.  I don't want to be a yelling mother.  I know it drives Jaymes crazy having a yelling wife.  But, when it's the heat of the moment I feel like I can't lower my voice!!  All of my sisters are the same way. And my mother.  I don't worry about being violent, don't get me wrong.  Something like that would never happen.  But, I don't want to yell either.

I hope I can learn to control this beast.

In other news, I have a to do list a mile long.  I haven't even started on it. And I'm already behind in my classes this summer.  I've got to get busy!!!