A Success!!! (and yet another failure)

Rory slept through the night last night!!!  She went down at 8:30 and woke up at 7:00 am!!  No bouncy chair!  It feels so good to do something right!!

Now, I just need to wean her off her bouncy chair for naps!

I really need to figure out how to actually get things done during the day!  I have a mountain of housework and an even bigger mountain of homework.  Each day that passes the piles just get bigger because I'm not getting anything done!

I'd like to be able to blame it on Rory and say that she takes up too much of my time.  But, it's not true.  She's so easy.  She pretty much plays on her own.  Which means I waste my time surfing the web, watching TV or sleeping.  I'm so pitiful.

I've always had a problem with motivation.  I can never MAKE myself do anything!!  I thought that was changing when the baby came.  As soon as she arrived I was dragging myself out of bed, changing diapers, making bottles, etc without a second thought.  I was so excited! 

Finally! 

All I needed was that Mom mentality.  Now, I'll be productive and efficient like my mother.  But, no.  I still do what the baby needs whenever she needs it without a seconds hesitation.  But, otherwise I still suck.

If anyone knows a great way to motivate yourself I would love to hear it! 

Bedtime Failure

I had a major failure last night.  Rory has been a great sleeper from the very beginning.  She was sleeping through the night at 1 month.  It's been fantastic.  Somewhere around 2 months we started having trouble getting her to fall asleep so we began bouncing her to sleep in her vibrating bouncy chair.  It worked like a charm!  Fast forward a few months and Rory lost the ability to go to sleep without her bouncy chair or carseat.  This made it really difficult when we were away from home around nap time or bedtime.



So,  last week I set on a mission to break her of her bouncy chair.  She hasn't used her bouncy chair for bedtime since last Tuesday.  I felt so wonderful.  It was the first time in her little life that I actually helped her change her behavior for the better.

Now, while she has been getting better at falling asleep, for some reason she's started waking up in the night again.  I don't know what changed but now she wakes up a night to eat. Well, last night her bedtime was fantastic. She went right down at 8:30 with no fighting or tears!  But, then she woke up at 1:30!  That's only 5 hours!  I was so mad!  What am I doing wrong?!?

I hate this about myself.  Why do I always get so upset about things these small things that I can't change?  It's not like she wakes up intending to upset me.  Anyway, the whole thing caused a fight between me and Jaymes.  And left me feeling like a giant butthole.

I have always had a temper and it's one of my biggest fears that I won't be able to control it with Rory.  I don't want to be a yelling mother.  I know it drives Jaymes crazy having a yelling wife.  But, when it's the heat of the moment I feel like I can't lower my voice!!  All of my sisters are the same way. And my mother.  I don't worry about being violent, don't get me wrong.  Something like that would never happen.  But, I don't want to yell either.

I hope I can learn to control this beast.

In other news, I have a to do list a mile long.  I haven't even started on it. And I'm already behind in my classes this summer.  I've got to get busy!!!

Simple, but significant.

The title of this post is from Mad Men.  I love that show.  But, it describes perfectly how I want to live.  I want a simple life.  I don't want for much. Happiness for my daughter and husband. Happiness for myself.

Most of the things I do want for aren't even material things.

I want life experiences.
I want laughter.
I want tears.  You have to have the tears to appreciate the laughter. And, let's face it, often we need a good cry.
I want more babies. And grandbabies.
I want to make a home.
I want a career that makes me feel fufilled but doesn't keep me from experiencing my daughter's childhood.

I want a simple life.  But, I want it to be significant.  I want to really live it.

I have spent far too much of my life sitting around watching tv, sleeping, etc.  I want to start living!! I want to make memories with my daughter and my husband. 

When I'm an old lady dying in my bed (my ideal death scenario) I want to know that I used up every drop of experience I could.

This blog is a record of my new life mission. 

I can't wait to begin!