Motivation: Such an Aggravation

I have no motivation.  It's a problem.

Sometimes, all is good and the house is put together, the baby's happy and dressed, I'm caught up on school and I look presentable.  Actually, for awhile there, this was the norm.  I was cooking dinner every night and even baking!

Then, there are days like today.

The baby never got dressed.  I got her out of her pajamas, but somehow she never quite made it into clothes.  She just hung out in a diaper all day.  She didn't seem to mind.

While she never went hungry today, I got lazy and didn't give her any solids at lunch, just formula.

I have a mountain of homework due on Sunday, but I can't bring myself to start.

I've had a document open on my desktop for an entire week, where I started revising my resume.  I haven't touched it in days.

The kitchens a mess.

And while I did cook dinner tonight, I went the easy route and just made spaghetti.  Even though I told Jaymes that I would make shredded beef, I didn't. 

In fact, I've put off making shredded beef for so many days now that I'm worried the meat has gone bad.

I haven't showered in 3 days.  That's embarrassing.  But, to be honest, I haven't left the house in longer than that.

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Jaymes is trying hard to convince me to go see the new Harry Potter movie tomorrow. I would love to go! I haven't missed an opening day of a Harry Potter movie ever. But, I'd have to go by myself. Jaymes would have to stay home with Aurora. I don't know if I want to go to a movie alone. I wonder if it will even be fun...

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I was so proud of little girl today!  She actually ate one of her sweet potato puffs!  I've been giving them to her for about a month now and whenever they make it into her mouth she makes a horrible face and spits them out.  But, tonight she popped one in there and mushed it up like a champ!



Aurora is getting so good at standing that Jaymes and I decided the time had come to move her mattress down.  Her crib doesn't look like a little baby's bed anymore.  But, seeing her peering over the rails is absolutely adorable!!



Jaymes had an inventive solution to Aurora's constant exploration.

What I'm Loving Right Now

I am so incredibly infatuated with my family right now.



My beautiful daughter seems to be changing every day.  I'm afraid if I blink I'll miss it!

I love her bedhead in the morning.  When she first wakes up and her eyes are still droopy and she has sleep crusties in her eyes.  Ah.  So sweet.


I love the way she's exploring now!  She's trying to pull up on everything!!



I love the moments she has with her Daddy.  For the record, she never sleeps on my chest.  This chick is so not a cuddler.  She doesn't like to be rocked to sleep or held very much, but somehow last night while I was out of town Jaymes got some cuddles.



She was fascinated by the fish at the pet store.  We've added the Shedd Aquarium to our itinerary for our vacation to Chicago.  I hope it's a big hit!

I even love this guy.  Even though he gets on my very last nerve all day!!



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Aurora had her first big boo-boo this weekend.  She was pulling up to stand on the wall and her hands slipped and she hit the wall hard with her face.  I was sitting right next to her, but I wasn't quick enough. 

Now, don't get me wrong.  We're getting used to Aurora bumping her head and falling down.  It seems to come with the territory of getting older and learning how to get around.  But, this time she was just in the wrong place to be falling.  I should have realized that it was dangerous.  The wall that she was pulling up on is the wall that houses the big A/C vent, so when she fell into the wall she fell into the top of the vent where a poky screw lay in wait. 

When I scooped her up, she had a screw shaped dent in her forehead.  It was terrifying!  I just kept imaging that she would have this horrible screw shaped scar for the rest of her life.  I ruined her flawless face at only 7 months!! 

In hysteria I called Jaymes home from work.  I didn't know if we should take her to the ER or not.  It was a Sunday and I couldn't call the Pediatrician for advice.  But, by the time he made it home and we cleaned off her forehead, it was obvious that the wound was no where near ER worthy.  There was only a pinprick sized open spot and otherwise it was just scratched. We watched her very closely for a few hours before she napped to make sure she hadn't hit her head too hard.



Now, she's been sporting an adorable tiny band aid on her forehead.  I doubt she even needs it, but I don't want her boo-boo to get infected.

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Overall, life is good. 

Over the weekend we drove down to Grove to see Jaymes's Dad, Step mom and sister.  They've just opened a franchise of CheeZies's Pizza.  It was a quick visit and they were SO busy, but it was really fun!

The took us to this really yummy Mexican restaurant for dinner and I loved it so much that Jaymes and I went back the next day for lunch!

I had to drive back home to Joplin to take my Senior Major Assessment Test last night.  It's one of the very last things I have to do before I am finished with my degree.  The test was simple and quick so I was able to go and spend a little time with my family.  My mother made meatloaf.   My favorite! 

It was so strange to be away from Aurora.  I don't miss many of her bedtimes, so that was a little hard, but Jaymes did a great job.  Actually, I think he kind of loved being at home by himself with Aurora.  That never happens!  Mostly, because I have no where to go!

So, life is good.  I'm loving it!

Independence Day

Aurora's first Independence Day was pretty awesome.

At first it was tiring.

I spent weeks picking out a cute outfit and making a matching hair bow.  She kept spitting up all over the outfit and ripping up the hair bow.  But, I guess that's just motherhood.



The hair bow I made.  It's pretty giant.  But, it's only the second one I've made.

But, then the day turned for the better.  Aurora pulled up for the first time!!  I swear she's doing something new every day!! It's so exciting!



When Jaymes got home we took off for Freedom Fest!  It was a disappointment.  It was a million degrees and there was not an inch of shade to be seen!  There wasn't anything that Aurora (or Jaymes and I) would enjoy.

We left and went out to dinner.  We went to Cheddar's, one of our favorites, and went all out!  Apps, entrees, dessert, even a virgin daiquiri! Yum!

When it was starting to get dark we headed back to the festival.  We laid out our blankets and waited for the show to start.

We were so nervous that Aurora would be scared of the fireworks, but she wasn't!  She LOVED them!!  She also loved all of the glow sticks that kids were playing with.

After, an hour of barely moving traffic we made it home exhausted.  We all fell asleep as soon as our heads hit the pillow.



As an added bonus, Jaymes got up with the baby today.  Ahhh.

Happy 4th of July!!

Feeling Very Lucky Tonight

I am in love.

Often I get too caught up with the worst parts of my day.  I focus on Aurora's whining, Jaymes being late, Stanley having an accident, Loretta jumping on the counter for the 80th time... and I miss out on all the good stuff.

Today was full of good stuff.



Aurora let me sleep in until 8:30.
Jaymes got home 2 and a half hours early.
Aurora crawled! 
Not just a few feet, but all across the room and into the hallway. 
It was amazing, and Jaymes was home for it!
We took a big family nap in our room.  Dreamy.
Aurora crawled right to me when I put my hands out and then was so excited when she reached me. 
That's some good stuff.



What a great day!

This Forth of July is one of the first holidays that Jaymes, Aurora and I are spending on our own.  We plan on attending FreedomFest and watching the fireworks.

I'm excited to see Aurora's reaction to the fireworks.  My guess is that she won't be a huge fan.

But, it should be fun to watch!

A Success!!! (and yet another failure)

Rory slept through the night last night!!!  She went down at 8:30 and woke up at 7:00 am!!  No bouncy chair!  It feels so good to do something right!!

Now, I just need to wean her off her bouncy chair for naps!

I really need to figure out how to actually get things done during the day!  I have a mountain of housework and an even bigger mountain of homework.  Each day that passes the piles just get bigger because I'm not getting anything done!

I'd like to be able to blame it on Rory and say that she takes up too much of my time.  But, it's not true.  She's so easy.  She pretty much plays on her own.  Which means I waste my time surfing the web, watching TV or sleeping.  I'm so pitiful.

I've always had a problem with motivation.  I can never MAKE myself do anything!!  I thought that was changing when the baby came.  As soon as she arrived I was dragging myself out of bed, changing diapers, making bottles, etc without a second thought.  I was so excited! 

Finally! 

All I needed was that Mom mentality.  Now, I'll be productive and efficient like my mother.  But, no.  I still do what the baby needs whenever she needs it without a seconds hesitation.  But, otherwise I still suck.

If anyone knows a great way to motivate yourself I would love to hear it! 

Bedtime Failure

I had a major failure last night.  Rory has been a great sleeper from the very beginning.  She was sleeping through the night at 1 month.  It's been fantastic.  Somewhere around 2 months we started having trouble getting her to fall asleep so we began bouncing her to sleep in her vibrating bouncy chair.  It worked like a charm!  Fast forward a few months and Rory lost the ability to go to sleep without her bouncy chair or carseat.  This made it really difficult when we were away from home around nap time or bedtime.



So,  last week I set on a mission to break her of her bouncy chair.  She hasn't used her bouncy chair for bedtime since last Tuesday.  I felt so wonderful.  It was the first time in her little life that I actually helped her change her behavior for the better.

Now, while she has been getting better at falling asleep, for some reason she's started waking up in the night again.  I don't know what changed but now she wakes up a night to eat. Well, last night her bedtime was fantastic. She went right down at 8:30 with no fighting or tears!  But, then she woke up at 1:30!  That's only 5 hours!  I was so mad!  What am I doing wrong?!?

I hate this about myself.  Why do I always get so upset about things these small things that I can't change?  It's not like she wakes up intending to upset me.  Anyway, the whole thing caused a fight between me and Jaymes.  And left me feeling like a giant butthole.

I have always had a temper and it's one of my biggest fears that I won't be able to control it with Rory.  I don't want to be a yelling mother.  I know it drives Jaymes crazy having a yelling wife.  But, when it's the heat of the moment I feel like I can't lower my voice!!  All of my sisters are the same way. And my mother.  I don't worry about being violent, don't get me wrong.  Something like that would never happen.  But, I don't want to yell either.

I hope I can learn to control this beast.

In other news, I have a to do list a mile long.  I haven't even started on it. And I'm already behind in my classes this summer.  I've got to get busy!!!

Simple, but significant.

The title of this post is from Mad Men.  I love that show.  But, it describes perfectly how I want to live.  I want a simple life.  I don't want for much. Happiness for my daughter and husband. Happiness for myself.

Most of the things I do want for aren't even material things.

I want life experiences.
I want laughter.
I want tears.  You have to have the tears to appreciate the laughter. And, let's face it, often we need a good cry.
I want more babies. And grandbabies.
I want to make a home.
I want a career that makes me feel fufilled but doesn't keep me from experiencing my daughter's childhood.

I want a simple life.  But, I want it to be significant.  I want to really live it.

I have spent far too much of my life sitting around watching tv, sleeping, etc.  I want to start living!! I want to make memories with my daughter and my husband. 

When I'm an old lady dying in my bed (my ideal death scenario) I want to know that I used up every drop of experience I could.

This blog is a record of my new life mission. 

I can't wait to begin!